This year has been a little precarious for me so far. In January I took my coolest trip to date…but spent half of it sick, including 9 days where even reading a book or watching a movie felt taxing. I almost passed out from the pain of walking across an airport terminal.
In February I moved to Stuttgart, aiming to have applied for my work permit by the end of the month. Here it is the end of March and I only just managed to submit my completed application today. I love it here! I’m eager to be nesting, dating, putting down roots…but until I know I can stay, that’s tough to do. The uncertainty eats away at me. I’m constantly trying to balance my activities with contingency plans, because I can’t ignore the possibility that I might have to leave in a month.
The point of this post isn’t to complain, though. I know that I am incredibly lucky to have regained my health and mobility, to have plenty of work to sustain me, and to have a new community that has been nothing but welcoming. I have been trying every day to focus on what I can appreciate and enjoy. In January, that included such simple things as when I was first able to focus my eyes on a page again, when I was able to stand without getting dizzy, when I was able to eat without feeling queasy, and at last when I could walk, jog, and run without pain.
And of course, making this video:
Today, in spite of my worries about heading to the Foreigners’ Office without a translator, I appreciated eating a tasty breakfast, running in the sunshine, and teaching an English lesson to an enthusiastic 8-year-old. I’m looking forward to blues dancing tonight and heading to Hamburg for this weekend’s Ginga Festival. I can’t wait to lose myself in the joy of connection.
I’ve heard that happiness exists only in the past and the future, never the present, but I’m doing my best to find joy in the here and now.